It would be an understatement to say that I’m not an overly emotional person. All of those things that women cry about? Not so much. I didn’t cry at my wedding or when Bean and Dubs were born. I know…it’s not very flattering. I tend to refer to myself as “cold in the soul.” That’s not to say that I don’t feel the impact of things personally. I just tend to internalize them more than others. When I’m sad, lonely, bored, frustrated, or angry, I handle my feelings in one very particular fashion…I eat. I’m a major emotional eater.
Seriously, it’s ridiculous. All of these people who say, “I was so upset that I couldn’t eat, I couldn’t sleep, I couldn’t do anything?” Wow. I can’t even understand that. I have the exact opposite problem. I pig out and take a nap. I sort of wish I had it the other way around. I’d probably be 100 pounds lighter if I didn’t try to comfort myself with food. I believe it was on an episode of Friends where Phoebe’s therapist boyfriend said to Monica, “Remember, they’re just food. They’re not love.” Maybe I’m Monica. (Wait, no…she was a clean freak. Definitely not Monica.)
I say all of that to say this: yesterday was horrendous. We had a pretty frustrating day at work. That part I can handle. Pretty much every day of work is frustrating when you work in the Business Office. It’s not really all that much fun to work with money. It’s kind of like working the lost luggage counter at the airport…you don’t often have a great day. However, after work, I had to participate in a merger negotiation for my Finance class. It was a BEAR. Our class was divided into two groups of eight people, and we had to negotiate a merger between two organic food providers. I’ve spent well over 20 hours over the past week getting my part ready…and there were seven other people working on other parts of it. Ridiculous. Altogether, we figured we’d put in about 160 hours of work over the week. Last night’s negotiations, which were intended to last about two hours, ended up taking four hours. It was just painful. The professor warned us that anything over two hours would be rough, and she was right. It was extremely stressful and tense. About midway through we took a ten minute break. I was super stressed out and frustrated and wanted to eat…so I walked around the building. That’s a milestone for me.
I figured people don’t really want to hear every detail about every morsel I put in my mouth during the day, so I’m giving up on that. Instead, I thought I’d just share wonderful recipes that I find as I meander my way to a healthier lifestyle. One of my new favorite websites is Green Lite Bites. The site is authored by a woman with two kids and a picky eater for a husband. Two peas in a pod, she and I. Yesterday morning, I made her Whole Wheat Blueberry Pancake Waffles. Holy jeez, they were amazing. I did make a few substitutions (regular whole wheat flour, skim milk, turbinado for the honey, and nonfat yogurt for the applesauce). Honestly, they weren’t just good healthy waffles…they were good waffles, period. That’s a win.
So, three days down, and still good to go! I’m already thinking about Sunday, though. I’ve decided to allow myself one “cheat day” each week. I won’t go nuts those days, but if I want to have Arby’s, I’ll have it. If I want to eat some bacon for breakfast, I’ll have a little. I’ve learned from a bit of healthy eating in the past that I tend to stick with it better if I don’t deprive myself entirely. After all, six days of healthy eating a week is better than none, which is what I was doing!